13 going on 23

in one week i will be 23 years old.

typing that sentence still doesn’t even make it seem real.

i still picture myself has a lanky and awkward 14 year old walking through the halls of my high school thinking graduation will never be soon enough. though 2 out of the 3 statements i previously made are true, (being lanky and awkward) i am no longer making my ways through high school as a shy and scared little girl.

10 years ago (holy cow) i thought at the age of 23 i would have graduated from michigan state and i’d be making my way to graduate school so i could become a veterinarian. my love for animals still stands and i have just recently graduated from college, but i am no where near the place i thought i would be right now.

take this pictures above for example. this is me at 13years old. this was the original “selfie”. it was taken on a disposable camera with no timer or digital setting. my sister had to take the picture for me. that is also one large computer! laptops weren’t something every one had, wireless internet was starting to become a “thing” and myspace was the only diary and social network i needed. my iPod was my LIFE, my parents drove me everywhere i needed to go, i applied my makeup with paint brushes (true story), and friday nights were spent at a friends house watching movies and eating ice cream.

it’s crazy how much changes from year to year, but even crazier to look back on the last 10 years of my life and compare where i thought i would be to where i am now.

here i am, typing this up and sitting in the same bedroom as i would have been when i was 13 years old. it almost seems surreal. i’ve come so very far and i may not be where i thought i would, not even close, but i am so very happy with where life has taken me.

in the last 10 years i’ve:

graduated from high school,

got accepted into college,

transferred to a completely new college three hours away from my hometown,

changed my major twice,

had 6 different jobs,

dyed my hair 3 different colors,

deleted my Facebook twice,

been to 5 different countries (canada doesn’t count, i basically live there),

covered my body with 4 tattoos,

owned 4 different cars (no i didn’t wreck them, they just died from old age),

graduated from college,

etc,

and along the way, i have met some of the most amazing people. that’s honestly an understatement. it’s so easy to concentrate on the terrible people we have met along the way and the negative impact they have made on our lives and how different and cautious we may be now because of that. but when i look back on who I’ve met and who have become some of the most important people in my life today, those tiny bits of people that left bruises on my life don’t even matter a single bit.

i can’t thank those of you who have been there for me and who have supported every single decision i have ever made. some of those decisions led to situations that didn’t last long, or opened new and exciting doors that have molded me into the person i am. but regardless of where they have taken me, you have been my rock and my bad days may have caused raging storms for you, but the fact that you did not sink means so much to me.

the other day i hit 300 followers on here. that also means more to me than i can say. i’ve always loved writing, but the fact that i can sit here and write my own poetry and you guys “like” them and share them and support me is just incredible.

i honestly have no idea where i will be 10 years from now. but i hope i’m in a place filled with happiness and i’m surrounded by opportunity and passionate people. i think that’s all i can really ask for out of life in the years that are ahead of me. i always thought that if something i want isn’t happening right this very second, when i think it should, that it won’t happen at all. i’ve slowly learned that isn’t true at all. not even a little bit.

i honestly did not intend for this post to be as sappy or emotional as it ended up, haha. but think about it. where were you 10 years ago? and who are you now? maybe i don’t have a “real” job yet and i’m still waiting for my boobs to come in, haha, but my life has been so beautifully blessed! 

so cheers to 300 followers! to 23 & and to many years ahead.

xo,

courtney raf